So the past month has been this crazy limbo and while it seems things are slowly getting better, I am still very scared. Don't get me wrong - I believe whole-heartedly that we come out better, stronger, happier and more whole than ever, but I still get scared.
And my wonderful mother-in-law invited me to travel with her next week to Hawaii - she figured I could really use a break. And while I am excited to go (I have never been) I have all this anxiety.
1) I am terrified of flying - and on the way there I will be flying by myself.
2) I wish my husband was going with me (and I feel really guilty that he's not)
3) I worry that he will hate me for leaving him with the kids - even though I know he's looking forward to the quality time with them
4) And yes things seem to be on the road of progress but I am terrified that when I get back...
I feel like I live in a permanent state of Anxiety...to the point I wonder if I will even be able to have an enjoyable time in Hawaii.
I have been trying to be more positive than negative and for the most part I feel pretty sucessful in that...so I am just going to try and be completely positive and hope for the best. But this anxiety seems to be getting the best of me right now and it sucks.
No comments:
Post a Comment